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breaking down? October 19, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — aasouthernbelle @ 6:12 pm

I think I’m having a bit of a breakdown.  The other night, Hubs and I got into an argument.  Only, it wasn’t really an argument.  It was more along the lines of Hubs asked me a question and I just started screaming and yelling and wanting to hit things.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  When I started to calm down, I just kept scratching myself.  It was the first time I’ve ever wanted to hurt myself.  I didn’t want to off myself or anything dramatic like that, but I wanted to do something small that stung.  That’s a new thing for me.

I got a job offer to teach at a local high school today.  I don’t know whether or not to accept the job.  I miss teaching.  I’ve missed it since I stopped doing it.  But accepting this teaching position would mean taking a pay cut.  And so many things keep happening that require me to make more money, so that I don’t know whether or not to take this job that I know I would enjoy more.  We’re still paying off the AC unit in our house.  Then my transmission just died in my car, which is going to cost another pretty penny.  And I’m just scared that if I take a job with less money then we won’t be able to afford these things when they happen.  

I don’t do well with major life choices and monetary issues.  Perhaps that’s why I don’t do well with the whole “being an adult” thing.