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Why is he better than me at everything?! July 2, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — aasouthernbelle @ 6:31 pm
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So I realize that marriage is not a competition.  I do, honestly.  HOWEVER, why is it that my hubs has to be better at everything than I am?  He’s better at losing weight.  He’s better at his job.  He’s smarter than me, though I’d probably never admit it to him.  He’s better with finances.  He’s better at FINDING a job.  He’s just… I’m so sick of being the one that has to “d0 better”.  It’s so exhausting.  I feel like I’m always having to catch up.  I’m probably a better housekeeper/cook/organizer than he is, but it’s not like that matters because being a housewife isn’t exactly an option.  He’s better at all the REAL WORLD stuff.  I’m just better at stupid things.  … like being OCD.

Today is just a hard day.  … It’s been a hard week.  I got my second spinal injection a couple weeks ago, but I’ve still really been hurting.  It didn’t work as well as the first one, which has me pretty down and fairly exhausted.  I’m trying to push through it and pretend like I’m ok though, because I honestly don’t want hubs knowing that it didn’t work.  He’s talking about not having kids because of the pain, and I just… I don’t think I can do that.  All I’ve ever wanted to be is a mom, and I don’t know that I can have that taken from me.  So I’m trying to pretend like I’m better and ok, even though I’m not much better than I was before the shot.

I just need something really good to happen… and instead I turn another year older this weekend.  I hate birthdays.  There’s the one my family forgot, until after I’d gone to bed that night.  Then my dad woke me up to apologize.  Mind you, earlier in the day I was getting in trouble for acting so grumpy because I should have been happy for the holiday.  And mind you, they remembered my cousin’s and sister’s birthdays during the 2 days before mine, but they forgot mine.  Yeah… that was an awesome birthday.  Then there’s all the years I waited for bio mom to send me something or call, but she never did.  I just… birthday’s suck.  We build them up as this great day – a day to celebrate yourself and yourlife.  Instead no one really cares and you just end up feeling sorry for yourself because no one gives a shit that it’s your day.  It’s just another day, except this day was built up in your mind as something special, but it’s not.  So the balloon pops.  Every year.  And then you just get older.


2 Responses to “Why is he better than me at everything?!”

  1. Don’t let yourself get down about Curtiss being “better” than you at stuff. Everyone has their talents and niche. Guys in general lose weight faster and easier- which isn’t fair. Haha. He isn’t better at his job; you two just have different areas of expertise. You are doing great, I think, with all that you are accomplishing, like the weight loss and focusing so much on feeling better. And being a housewife is something he could NEVER do, so feel free to make that a personal little “HA” in your head toward him when you feel down. 😉
    I’m sorry the injections don’t seem to be keeping up with your pain. That totally sucks. This may be a bit odd to suggest, but I have heard AMAZING things from my friend who sells and uses Isagenix. She has RA and has found that with Isagenix her symptoms are gone and overall feels better than ever. She is really sweet and really cares about people. Maybe, if you want, I can give you her number and you can talk to her about it? She doesn’t force it on people, she just wants to help. Just an idea to maybe help on the nutrition side of all your pain and inflammation. You shouldn’t have to keep pushing through your pain. And maybe if something like Isagenix helps, you and Curt can get to the baby-making, and you can be a mom! Let me know. 
    I pretty much love your explanation of the birthday. I am sorry your’s was forgotten before and that you waited for acknowledgement that didn’t come. Now you have Curt with you to be that constant support and friend. I don’t forget your birthday! It’s hard to when I know it’s right after mine and I am used to sharing the celebration with you. We need to do that again one year. I hope you do something super fun and just for you. And let Curt pamper you for the day. You work so hard on yourself, you need the time to relax.
    Anyway, I love you girl. I love your blog- makes me want to start one, but I know it would be primarily horsey. Ha. You’re doing great. You’ll always be my awesome crazy cousin that I look up to. Always.

    • You pretty much just made me feel way better. Thanks, cuz. It’s just so hard trying to better myself and seeing how easy it comes to him. As for the birthday? Meh. I’m just ready for it to be over.

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